Friday, March 4, 2011

"You're ugly anyway!" - Good old rejection.


Guy is probably calling her a name. LOL

Have you ever wondered why many men seem to resort to insulting a woman after she turns down his advances? Let's keep in mind that the woman in this equation didn't display any type of negativity, or attitude, just a simple N-O. Because if she was indeed rude, then an equally rude comeback from her male counterpart is justified--but for the sake of  argument let's say she was civil when she turned this poor guy down.

I believe the root of a man's rude disposition after getting turned down arrives simply because getting rejected is a terrible, heart wrenching feeling; and is something that can deflate even the most massive egos. An what's an easy--yet tasteless remedy for a deflated ego?  To deflate someone else's.


I tend to think of most interactions between males and females as positive or negative exchanges of energy. When a man approaches a woman, and the woman is actually attracted to him, the possibility of her rejecting his offer for a "conversation" is slim to none. Assuming her primary attraction doesn't fade after he opens his mouth, the two will engage each other and exchange a positive, flowing energy.


A negative energy occurs when either the male or female is not attracted to the other and wants to refrain from further conversing. Either they are not attracted, or have somewhere to go--or both. Let's say in this scenario, the female wants no part of this encounter, but it's obvious the male is very attracted--so he pursues. Now this negative energy is flowing, and when she says NO--whether it was polite or not, the negative energy falls solely upon the male. So what happens now?

The male tries to rid himself of this negative energy. He does this by projecting negativity on this particular woman; the current object of his affection, and the cause of  his negativity. The best--but non-intelligent way for him to transfer this energy is to insult her. He will try to degrade this woman, and for that brief instance try and completely deflate her ago, just as his was.


A common phrase: "That's okay you're ugly anyway, bitch!!"

If that woman is self conscience, or has low self esteem, her feelings are now hurt--all because she didn't want to be engaged. The only outcome of lashing out against someone just because they don't wish to talk to you, is you wind up making yourself look even more unattractive. Your primary goal was to have a conversation and whatever follows. Now your advances have turned to a display of ignorance, bitterness ,and humiliation for not only yourself, but for both parties.


Not all guys are like this!


We don't all turn to ridiculing you after you reject us. Some men gracefully accept the "no", and move on about their day. Then there are others, who continue in pursuit. "Rejection, what's that?" Is what these persistent men think. Maybe they think this particular girl is "the one"; maybe their just hard of hearing, but that's another story, another article--good old persistence.


There are many options for an uninterested women facing a male caller. Ignore him, express her dis-interest by saying no, or engaging him just to get him off her back. There is alot of pressure when approaching someone on the street, for both male and females. The male has to know the right thing to say, the right way to act. The female has to also know what to say, not only this, but she has to decide if the conversation is worth having (women are the dominant factor in the creation of new relationships ). With all of these choices we as individuals have to concern ourselves with, there is little room for negativity. If the person is not interested, their not interested. Rejection is a part of life, to quote producer Swizz Beats:

"On to the next one!"(K*W)